The curse of big words

I officially heard it all today. Read it, anyway. It’s finally happened. I knew it would one day. After this – I’m not sure there is an ‘after this.’ I read the most stupid, conceited, 15 year-old know-it-all gee-mom-thanks-for-the-psychology-textbook-guess-I’m-a-psychiatrist-now thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen some. And that, as we used to say, ain’t no lie.


It’s Saturday morning. I just got some tea and sourdough toast, some not-very-nice figs (I didn’t get them because they were’t very nice, they just weren’t) and a bowl of rhubarb stewed with ginger and went back to bed to write, because I didn’t want to start the cleaning and clearing and all the stuff I have to do today quite yet. The Eagles were playing on the radio. The Eagles have been out riding fences for so long now that you can’t really tell which of their songs is which until you stop and listen carefully. You just know they can play, they wrote their own stuff, didn’t use a rythym machine, the lyrics mean something and one of these days you’ll stop and listen and find out what they are.

After a few seconds of listening I looked up one of those lyrics-with-meanings websites. I should have known better. You get those days when it seems as if the whole interweb is written by a teenager living with their parents in Ohio, my shorthand for someone whose worldview is incredibly circumscribed but officially knows everything there is to know about everything, on account of he’s not paying the bills and shucks, all them cornfields cain’t be wrong.

Lying Eyes

City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man
And she won’t have to worry
She’ll dress up all in lace and go in style 
Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess ev’ry form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is
Only given to a man with hands as cold as ice

Luckily, thanks to websites like this we can share Traynor or Chuck’s insights on what the Eagles really meant with all the collective wisdom Moose Droppings, OH can muster. She’s got Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you see? She could benefit from some counselling, quite a lot of it. It’s people like her Mental Health Awareness Day was set-up for. She’s ‘phony,’ a word I haven’t really heard since Holden Caulfield got drafted to Veet Naym.

She gets the wanted attention that she so misses in her NEW relationship. This new person is so wonderful and all the feelings she remembers having in her “old” relationship are coming back. However what her narcissistic personality fails to understand is that these feelings (as nice as they are) will be temporary. Relationships grow and as beautiful as the guy thinks she is, telling her how wonderful and great she is everyday gets tiresome. Again, it’s all about her and he will realize this in time or just become a doormat.

So now you know. Obviously Traynor hasn’t got to the chapter about projection yet. That’ll be a good day. He’ll probably be listening to Take It To The Limit.



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