28%

Dear Chinese people,

 

Thank-you. I mean, it’s really, really flattering that you like my stuff so much that 28.something percent of all the visits to my website are from China.

It’s truly humbling that my modest efforts to entertain people with posts about Germany and poetry and historically not shagging who I want to or not enough or not any more find their way all around the world to the high-rises of Canton and little thatched houses by a river all that way away.

It’s really nice that you take an interest. No, really it is.

But you aren’t, are you? You really aren’t into my Songs Without Music concept. You don’t really care about the Eidelweiss Pirates or Milorg or White Rose or  bicycles (you’re getting rid of those) or any of my other obsessions I litter this site up with.

So WTF is it you actually WANT here? You never leave a comment. You certainly never buy my books. You don’t even charter a plane and come to my gigs, and there are certainly enough of you to make that an economic proposition.

You’re spying, aren’t you? You’re not even real people, just web bots trawling through every new post that goes on WordPress from anybody at all, looking to see if there’s something you can steal. It’s ok. My government wants to roll over and let you tickle its tummy in case you want to buy more stuff they’re giving away, so they won’t be doing anything about it.

So dear 28.7% of all the visitors to this site, please feel free. Immerse yourselves in dim memories and recreations and filterings and yearnings for people you never knew, people who don’t actually exist outside the prism of my creating them. Alternatively you could get off your collective farm arses and do something yourselves. But getting a web-bot to do your scamming is probably a bit easier, isn’t it?

Be lucky. Oh and stop killing the tigers. Eating them doesn’t give you a bigger cock after all.

 

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