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I love croissants. Always have. I\u2019m not talking about the powdery cold pretendy left-overs wrapped in plastic (bread hates plastic. It\u2019s entirely mutual) that grace supermarket shelves. Real ones. Fresh ones. When I lived in North London there was a bakery about 200 yards up the road from my flat. When some poor Lynne or Tansy or oh-so-wow Miguette (yes, I know. Result and so on) had been inveigled into visiting what was on inspection so definitely not my very groovy pad, at least she got fresh croissants and strawberries in the morning, to add a really uncomfortable sugar-rush to the four pints of Stella hangover and the bone-adjusting discomfort of the futon I\u2019d made.<\/p>\n

In some ways sadly, Time moves on. The bakery closed because people who liked croissants moved out and the parking was a nightmare. I sometimes got them in hotels, but mostly they were disappointing. It never really struck me that I could make them myself. I knew there was steam involved somewhere, but putting aside visions of exploding bricks shattering all over my kitchen I thought what consumerism encourages you to think: it\u2019s too difficult for me, I\u2019d better buy it. And then this week a strange and disturbing thing happened from which I may never recover. I read something useful in the Daily Mail.<\/p>\n

Read All About It<\/h5>\n

To be fair, it wasn\u2019t the actual Daily Mail, but a tiny supplement specifically about baking breads someone who cares gave me. Early on in the little book there was a croissant recipe. Yeah, right, I thought. Diana was murdered by MI5. And Cameron’s got soul. It wasn\u2019t even 200 words but it was a revelation. Like most baking, most of it is waiting, not actually doing anything. Actual doing stuff time, maybe 10 minutes at the outside. Time overall, a day and a half, one way or the other. The longest bit was just mixing the dough right at the beginning. About three minutes and like all baking the quantities are important. Not to get all Heston Blumenthal, but baking is one area of cooking where you can\u2019t just use the \u2018some\u2019 principle (as in \u2018peel some potatoes.\u2019 How many? Well, how many do you want? That many.) Roll out the dough to about 1cm thick and put five ounces of butter in it. No, it\u2019s not unhealthy. If you were going to eat this every day it would be. You\u2019re not. So don\u2019t get precious.<\/p>\n

Fold it on itself then do it again. Stick it in the fridge overnight. Next day, roll it out and fold it again. 20 minutes later do it again. 20 minutes after that, do it again. Forty minutes after that, roll it out thinner than I did, cut it into triangles wider than I did and roll them up, so the pointy bit is last. Now the technical bit.<\/p>\n

You know that wonderful crunchy thing the very best croissants have? That\u2019s mostly because they\u2019re fresh. That salty undertone to the rich taste? The glaze. Oh how very technical that sounds. Beat an egg in a bowl. Add a pinch of salt. Brush it over the rolls while you\u2019re waiting until they\u2019re starting to push their folds apart and the oven gets hot. Do the steam thing, preferably in a proper French steam oven if you\u2019re Mme Poilane<\/a>, one of the very realest food heroes, or by chucking a cup of cold water into the roasting tray you left in the oven while it gets hot if you\u2019re me and your daddy didn\u2019t have a helicopter, forgot how to fly it and left you a bakery.<\/p>\n

Twenty minutes later you can say “Croissants? With maybe some honey, or perhaps some gooseberry confiture? Baby?\u201d Use the only two decent matching coffee cups and saucers you have. And of course, don\u2019t forget the strawberries.<\/p>\n

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